Inmate's egg inspires judge to write 'Dr. Seuss' rhyme

[Greg]

Inmate's egg inspires judge to write 'Dr. Seuss' rhyme | New Hampshire Union Leader


By SCOTT BROOKS
New Hampshire Union Leader Staff
Friday, Sep. 21, 2007


CONCORD – He will not have them in a tort. He will not admit them into court.

The Honorable James R. Muirhead does not like hard-boiled eggs in the federal courthouse, and he said so this week, both promptly and poetically, when a state prisoner sent one to him via mail.

"No fan I am

Of the egg at hand.

Destroy the egg!

Today! Today!

Today I say! Without delay!"

"So ordered," the U.S. District Court magistrate judge concluded, "(with apologies to Dr. Seuss)."

►Judge Muirhead's ruling on the egg

The official ruling, signed Tuesday, was Muirhead's tongue-in-cheek response to the unusual package he received from Charles Jay Wolff, a convicted sex offender and orthodox Jew who is suing the New Hampshire Department of Corrections for allegedly denying his requests for kosher meals.

Muirhead's order runs six stanzas and professes to henceforth ban hard-boiled eggs from the Concord courthouse.

"There will be no eggs accepted.

Objections all will be rejected."

Wolff, 61, sent the egg in a manila envelope to Muirhead as part of his request for a preliminary injunction that would force the prison to serve meals that meet "both his spiritual and medical needs." He sent another egg, with a copy of his court papers, to the attorney defending the state, Assistant Attorney General Andrew Livernois.

Livernois said he suspects Wolff was trying to make a point about his prison diet. Wolff has objected to the hard-boiled eggs he is routinely served, claiming they make him ill.

"We've told him, if you don't like the eggs, don't eat them," Livernois said. "That's not good enough for him."

Muirhead had yet to rule on Wolff's request when the egg arrived in the Clerk of the Court's Office on Monday.

"No fan I am

Of the egg at hand.

Just like no ham

On the kosher plan."

Wolff is serving 10 to 20 years for sexually assaulting a 7-year-old girl, according to Department of Corrections spokesman Jeff Lyons. His lawsuit, which names the state Department of Corrections and several employees as defendants, was filed in August 2006, just three months after he became eligible for parole.

In handwritten letters sent to the court, Wolff describes himself as an "orthodox high priest." He said he is diabetic, that he has a heart condition and that he was treated for dysentery while serving with the U.S. military in Vietnam.

Among other things, he alleges the prison's director of food services, Jeff Perkins, took him off a kosher diet after coming to believe that Wolff had eaten non-kosher ice cream (Wolff claims the ice cream was indeed kosher).

In a complaint filed with the prison earlier this month, Wolff said he was given a bag of hard-boiled eggs for lunch. Livernois said Wolff filed a motion to have the kitchen staff held in contempt.

"I think the egg was evidence," Livernois said.

"This egg will rot

I kid you not.

And stink it can

This egg at hand."

Copies of the judge's letter were making the rounds at several area law firms yesterday, inspiring chuckles among the attorneys who have argued in his courtroom.

"That's one of the great things about practicing law in New Hampshire, but also about someone like Judge Muirhead," said Manchester attorney Leslie Nixon. "Being put on the bench didn't cause him to become all serious."

Muirhead has served as magistrate judge in the District of New Hampshire since September 1995. He was previously a partner in the Manchester law firm of McLane, Graf, Raulerson & Middleton.

"He's not a stand-up comic on the bench," said Bruce Felmly, who has worked at McLane since 1972. "He is a very serious, thoughtful judge, and I'm sure he gave a lot of thought to this order before he signed it."

"I will not take them soft or scrambled

Despite an argument well-rambled."

Muirhead's chief deputy clerk, Dan Lynch, figured the judge meant what he said (and said what he meant), and so followed the order to the letter. The egg was tossed in the garbage that very day.