What's the funniest thing a rookie has asked you?

[Watchdog]

Originally Posted by COIII

Was the inmate laughing anymore?

"Inmates" an no...they weren't laughing anymore. They were looking at me to do something about it. I patted the CO on the back and left. He never got messed with again as I can recall.

[teddyballgame61]

I took the time one shift to speak with a rookie (2 days) and explain some of our ways to him. I explained that I didn't want to treat him like a complete dumbass and that if I started telling him something he already knew - he should let me know. I then told him that if he had any questions he should not be afraid to ask, I would be happy to help him with anything I could. "I do have one question," he replied. Good for you I thought, until he said "Do i get paid for this first week or will they hold back a week" So much for learning the job. By the way, he didn't last a month.

[Xcrewchief]

Originally Posted by COIII

Was the inmate laughing anymore?

I KNOW the inmate wasn't, but I did when I read this....
Hope this doesn't seem rude with the current mood around the BOP, but at this point, I have to laugh about something...

[grunt11b]

Originally Posted by tcurtis76

had a rookie a few mins ago on the compound ask the compound 1 officer well what do i do now on the radio i would love to know what they were talking about

How can you access this site and post from a BOP puter? Now that I would like to know.

[grunt11b]

Originally Posted by Watchdog

"Inmates" an no...they weren't laughing anymore. They were looking at me to do something about it. I patted the CO on the back and left. He never got messed with again as I can recall.

He should have also hit the microwave door handles also, that would have been sweet.

[Watchdog]

I wonder what would happen if you nuked a turd in an inmates microwave...

[COIII]

Originally Posted by Watchdog

I wonder what would happen if you nuked a turd in an inmates microwave...

YUCK the smell would be bad enough.

[Watchdog]

I also remember watching a certain range because I knew an inmate would be fishing under his door like he did every time I stepped off the range. So I stood in hiding for what seemed like forever and then....swooosh! It shot out and I jumped out from my hiding spot and knabbed the note. The range went ape sh!t and I was proud of myself for getting it. My curiosity of what information I got was overwhelming. I could wait to read it. Would I save the institution from blowing up in a riot? Find some drugs? Oust a gambling ring? I tore it open in my office and it read: "Hey Jim...why do my farts smell different in the shower?"

[shank yanker]

We had a rookie working in the seg unit and you could tell this guy was scared to death. Well one night just as the sun is going down, said rookis is doing the rounds behind the unit. All the inmates in the seg unit wear orange jump suits. This rookie gets right beside the back fire exit door and two officers dresed in orange jump suits come running . They said he fell on the ground, screamed, and ran all the way back to the fence. He still catches $!!& over that one.

[Homer]

Originally Posted by KBCraig

"Where's the !@#$@# freon gauge on this refrigerator?"
-- Anonymous rookie, trying to fulfill a "rookie task" given to him by someone pretending to be the HVAC foreman.

Craig, you are so busted....I never found out who pulled that one on me over 16 years ago...and it seems I'm closing in on him. I was in 3 tower and called Ward in HVAC....Crusty dude cussed me out. Made my young hinnie feel like gum on the bottom of a shoe...Please tell me that it wasn't you. Remember, I know where you work, He, He.