Interested Civilian........

[benzbabe]

I am a civilian led here by a friend in the BOP. I'm not sure what the guidelines are for a civilian to post--much less start a new thread and I positively mean NO disrespect in intruding in to your sanctum and sounding board. So let me thank you in advance for your patience and understanding in my interest and for my butting in to a private forum designed for the brave, honorable, strong people you are.

I have read many threads in the past couple of days and I am astonished at the b***s*** you put up with! I thought I had it bad dealing with the people that I do, but geez!

I have learned about a system that I know nothing about and have reached a much better understanding of what you go through everyday.

Thank you for that. There are several prisons (I don't know if they are state, federal or what--but I will make it a point to find out) in the area I live. I stop at the gas station and see the officers either going to coming from work. I never thought about what they did or how dangerous it might be. Now, please, don't misunderstand me--again--I mean no disrespect. I knew what you did wasn't safe but it never crossed my mind when I saw the individual officer.

I beg your forgiveness for that and I will make a concerted effort to thank each and every correctional officer I see from now on and engage them in conversation. Try to bring them a smile.

You are an amazing group of people.

You get it from all sides! I mean, good grief, you never catch a break. If you aren't getting it from the system, you're getting it from the individual higher ups, some co-workers, and the inmates! No respect is being given to you from anywhere!

I've seen your sense of humor and and I have seen the respect you have for those that deserve it. I've seen compassion and care for each other.

All of this leads to my question.

How do you deal with all of this crap?

[soundboy125]

Well for starters, that sense of humor you mentioned, is a coping mechanism. Thats just one way of dealing with the BS we put up with everyday.
Thanks for all the kind things you said, and rest assured you are not alone in not knowing what we do, most that we serve don't.
Welcome aboard, we're not as mean as Hollywood makes us out to be, feel free to ask questions but understand some things we can't answer, we'll let you know what those are when we get there.(trade secrets and all...lol) Enjoy your stay here.

[fedfuz47]

Thank you. It is a difficult job, but it is enjoyable. I did it for 30 years and retired with most of my sanity left. It helped having a wife that understood the job.

[benzbabe]

How much do you actually tell your families?

That must be stressful on you as well. Trying to decide what to tell and what not to tell.

And please do let me know if I over step my bounds. I am intruding on your privacy so I thank you for your time and input.

[fedfuz47]

My wife did not want to know everything.

[BigCountry]

I Guess I am lucky. LE is like a Family Business. My sister works for DoC and So Does my mother. My Brother and Father were cops. So at least I have someone to vent with who at least has some degree of knowledge of what I am talking about. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have someone to vent to.

[Gaoler]

Originally Posted by benzbabe

How much do you actually tell your families?

That must be stressful on you as well. Trying to decide what to tell and what not to tell.

And please do let me know if I over step my bounds. I am intruding on your privacy so I thank you for your time and input.

I wish I could tell my family more, but mostly they don't understand. My parents don't get it really and my inlaws freak out whenever we tell them anything. Fortunately my wife is also a CO so atleast we understand each other.

[BOP5150]

Before I was hired on with the BOP, my husband would tell me everything he needed to vent about. But having been in LE previously, I understood the adrenaline rush. In speaking with other wives at the time, I knew A LOT of them that didn't want to know anything. They just wanted that paycheck. It scared them when husbands would talk about running to a body alarm or getting into a fight. They would ask me how I could stand listening to it. When it came to work, I knew my husband was smart and wasn't an ass unless he had to be and he also worked with a good group of people that would be there in a heartbeat when things went south. And like I said, I understood the adrenaline rush.
Now that I work for the BOP, we vent when we have to. More so me venting than he does. In his 15 BOP years, I think he has learned to let it go. I unfortunately am not at that point yet!

[all4114all]

Well, you forgot another source of aggravation. Offender families. Who call to complain that we are treating poor mr inmatethug badly by not letting him...................... (insert illegal activity here).

Dealing with the stress. I carpool with a coworker who tells me I take it all to personally. Yeah, probably.

Hubby works in corrections too and kids are fascinated by the stories but then again I work at a medium and we don't have the violence that maxes do. Just occasional bouts of attempts to be bigbadthugs. damned kids! lol

[Pahack1972]

Well, I keep my personal life and my professional one seperate. I keep only keep the officers closest to me in my private non-professional life. You have to show me your my BROTHER or my SISTER fully and completely for me to allow you into my life on the outside, and those are the ones i confide in and vent to about the job. My mom and stepdad don't fully understand.... so i try to make them worry as least as i can. I am just Glad my Pen is still quiet cause my mom will worry about me and get to be a pain in the azz..... lol......
As for the crap that goes on, inmate and staff-wise alike..... you have to adapt to it and learn to blow it off. Its almost like you don't care...... And for a CO's humor... hmmm, its more cynical than natural...... we can be standing around a inmate stabbed 50 times in the hospital, and we are joking and whatever....... its not that we don't care... its that we are fighting the reality of the situation so we may sleep at night......
You don't pick this job........ it chose us....... god bless you all.......