Gunny's Laws of Reality for Correctional Officers

[Gunny_ 24 Fox]

Base on "Murphy's Laws of Combat".

1. MURPHY'S LAW: What can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time.

2. Murphy was a %#@*^$ OPTIMIST!

3. There are 3 types of Correctional Officers: Those who can count, and those who can't.

4. If it's stupid, but it works, it's not stupid. If it's stupid and does not work, it's policy.

5. No "Riot Plan" survives initial contact with the inmates.

6. The "logical" way of doing things violates policy.

7. The important things are always simple. The simple things are always hard.

8. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

9. Experience is something you don't have until just after you need it.

10. "Good Judgement" come from experience. "Experience" comes from poor judgement.

11. Never under estimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

12. No "riot ready" institution ever passed a Program Review. No "Program Review" ready institution ever passed a riot.

13. If your short of everything except inmates, your in a riot.

14. Communications is a real problem, but the administration is not going to discuss it with the employees.

15. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

16. Success always occurs in private, failure occurs in full view.

17. If you have a 50 - 50 chance, there's a 90% chance you'll be wrong.

18. No one is listening to you on the radio, until you make a mistake.

19. Your radio will fail as soon as you desperately need something.

20. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

21. To error is human, to forgive devine. To blame someone else shows management potential.

22. Never work a shift with a Lieutenant that's braver than you.

23. Anything and everything you do can get you into trouble, including doing nothing.

I'm sure you have some of your own, please post them, I'd love to see them.

Semper Fi,
Gunny

[Area51]

24. Once you have a procedure that is idiot proof, a better class of idiots will start to gather to try your success.

25. We will check staff throughly for weapons and contraband at the front door, only to bring it to the inmates through the rear gate.

27. When you are young and agile you have to look for places the inmates hide contraband. When you are old you know where they hide it, but are no longer agile enough to get it...

[ATW-Hack]

Originally Posted by Area51

27. When you are young and agile you have to look for places the inmates hide contraband. When you are old you know where they hide it, but are no longer agile enough to get it...

Hey... Rookie... Climb up that A/C duct for me!

[coloradosgt79]

Gunny 24 FOX you covered it I have nothing to add. Its scary how true it all is.Some things just never change.

[Crosstimbers Okie]

Well, I've finally found out where those laws came from. I found them on the officers office wall in Leavenworth's B-Upper about five years ago. I think I even posted them in this forum somewhere.

[Braveheart-BOP]

Thou shalt not piss off the Control Room officers! <Trap Time>

[GUNNER]

How true this is.

[fedoff]

Gunner you are alive. Those are all true and funny, some have already run through my mind...just not spoken

[Gunny_ 24 Fox]

Originally Posted by Crosstimbers Okie

Well, I've finally found out where those laws came from. I found them on the officers office wall in Leavenworth's B-Upper about five years ago. I think I even posted them in this forum somewhere.

Yep, I posted them in the B-Upper officer's station about 7 or 8 years ago (maybe longer), happy to see they lasted that long. They will always remain true.
(Was at Leavenworth from 1993-2006)
Gunny

[LTABM]

Gunner, I like and lived through 4-5-12-and 22 !
I would add,

To err is human, to f#%K-up is unacceptable.

from an old hack and great administrator:

"Never forget your raisings..."