How tough is Chuck Norris?

[OkieTurnKey]

How tough is Chuck Norris?

Chuck Norris is so tough he uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

[Pahack1972]

Here we go with this crap..........

[eighty deuce]

He's soooooooooooo tough, when he farts it sounds like a steam boat whistle.

[glorifiedbabysitter]

Google chuck norris, find the website that has all this crap on it, then talk to your friends at home about it, chuck norris is old, white guys are out of the whole martial arts scene. get over it, chuck is dead!

[OkieTurnKey]

Crap? How 'bout using some of Chuck Norris' toilet paper.

[glorifiedbabysitter]

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
4. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
5. The Dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. ONCE.
6. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
7. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
8. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
9. If you don't know who your biological father is, it's probably Chuck Norris.
10. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
11. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
12. Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
13. Every time Chuck Norris smiles it saves the life of a dying man. Ironically, Chuck Norris only smiles after he kills someone.
14. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
15. When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
16. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
17. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
18. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
19. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
20. Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
21. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
22. Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell them there was a stripper in it.
23. Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.
24. Chuck Norris invented the spoon because using knives to kill people was just too easy.
25. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ******* Indian.
26. Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
27. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
28. Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
29. Wilt Chamberlin claims to of slept with over 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
30. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. 31. Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
32. Chuck Norris can eat a Rubix Cube and poop it out solved.
33. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
34. Anyone can **** on the bathroom floor, but Chuck Norris can **** on the ceiling.
35. Chuck Norris challenged a statue to a staring contest. Chuck remains undefeated.

[BUBBA]

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of chuck norris.

When Chuck Norris does Push-Ups. He pushes the earth down.

[Craven Moorehead]

Originally Posted by glorifiedbabysitter

Google chuck norris, find the website that has all this crap on it, then talk to your friends at home about it, chuck norris is old, white guys are out of the whole martial arts scene. get over it, chuck is dead!

BLASPHEMY!!!! You'll smoke a turd in hell for that! = Robin Williams from "the survivors"

Chuck Norris once had sex in the back of a semi truck. Some of his sperm got into the engine compartment. We now know this truck as OPTIMUS PRIME!!!!

[BUBBA]

Chuck Norris can eat a rubix cube, and poop it out solved.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like chuck norris.

If at first you dont succeed, then you are obviously not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity, before his dad did.

Chuck Norris Once visited the virgin islands. They are now refered to as just "The Islands"

The quickest way to a mans heart, is with Chuck Norris' fist.

If Chuck Norris is late, then time better slow the Fu*ck down.

Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made from real cowboy

Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pisses

Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits.

Chuck Norris does not tea bag, he potato sacks.

[glorifiedbabysitter]

Bubba, don't you have some rounds to make or something?LOLOLOL