Advice for the Family

[BOP_Wife]

Being that I'm new to this forum and I'm not a CO, I was wondering how many people that are members of this site are not CO's? If not then this thread might be helpful for the CO's themselves as well to get advice from others that might or have been through the same situation.

I'm hoping there are a few others out there that are like me and would want a thread that they could go to and talk about what is going on in their lives.

Advise or opinions of how they can better understand what their loved one is going through or how to handle certain situations that they might be going through within the community.

As we all know being a family member of a Law Enforcement Officer is not the easiest thing in the world to do. It is very difficult to explain to the "NORMAL" world what it is our loved one does for a living or goes through on a daily basis. Only the loved ones of a CO can understand and that is why I think this thread would be helpful for all.

So lets begin!! What is going on in your life?

[Pahack1972]

Originally Posted by BOP_Wife

Being that I'm new to this forum and I'm not a CO, I was wondering how many people that are members of this site are not CO's? If not then this thread might be helpful for the CO's themselves as well to get advice from others that might or have been through the same situation.

I'm hoping there are a few others out there that are like me and would want a thread that they could go to and talk about what is going on in their lives.

Advise or opinions of how they can better understand what their loved one is going through or how to handle certain situations that they might be going through within the community.

As we all know being a family member of a Law Enforcement Officer is not the easiest thing in the world to do. It is very difficult to explain to the "NORMAL" world what it is our loved one does for a living or goes through on a daily basis. Only the loved ones of a CO can understand and that is why I think this thread would be helpful for all.

So lets begin!! What is going on in your life?

Great Idea....... Welcome to the family............

[shakedownshorti]

I am medically retired from the Bureau and my husband works for the Bureau.....so I have seen it from both sides.....You are right being a spouse of a CO etc., can be very stressful. When they come home in a bad mood etc., all we can really do is lend them an ear. Stress in LE is very bad and causes lots of divorces and break-ups and can lead to other things such as suicide etc.....if you have any questions please let us know, maybe there are circumstances that we can help you to understand better too!

[shakedownshorti]

Welcome to the boards by the way in case I missed you on another post....

[dragonsgt]

Welcome home!!!

[BOP_Wife]

Thank you. This is why I wanted to start a thread like this. To have a place where anyone can come and ask for advise or opinions about life with or as a CO, etc.

We can all learn from others. Our community is very tight and only others with in our community can understand. I'm not saying I know it all but others may know what I don't and with statistics against us with respect to marriage and relationships I thought this might be helpful for all.

[dragonsgt]

My brother is one of the statistics--committed suicide on 5/29. He was retired, but really never left the job. He went through 3 marriages and left a son. He also left a heart broken family. Even though we knew he was under a lot of stress, there is really no way for us to have known exactly what it was all about. Since joining this site it is like someone has turned on the light for me. It helps so much to know that there are people out there who have suffered what he did at work and in relationships.

Some people have said that he was weak, but I believe that he was just not strong enough in the end (he did, however, work 24 years until retirement and everyone of those days he was ON {his words}). Most on this site have related to what little I have been able to give about his state of mind at the end. Now we have to find some way to explain this to his son, and maybe find some way to help others out there who are just short of drawing that line.

His job was not totally responsible for his death, but changing the way these jobs alter people's lives may prevent someone else from having to live through what has happened in our family. We are ALL family.

[BOP_Wife]

I'm so sorry for you loss. You and your family are in my prayers. There is not much comfort or advise that I can offer you since I have not gone through a loss of this kind.

Just remember him for who he was and all the good things he did.

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. ~From a headstone in Ireland"